Friday, December 4, 2009

A Womans Heart

This is a story written by a dear friend of mine. A dear friend who is a survivor of breast cancer. An inspiring, beautiful, strong woman who is always willing to share her story so that others might be inspired to get checked and do self exams. Its important to catch it early, she caught it early and I could not be more grateful to have her in my life! This amazing woman's name is Bobbi Abplanalp. Take care of yourself because there will always be people who will be grateful that you are living, get a mammogram and always be aware of changes its important because your important!

"Imagine a woman’s heart. It must be as vast as the universe to hold the deepest and most cherished moments that only a woman can experience. Imagine her heart beat supporting not only herself but that of an unborn child. Imagine her heart shattering upon the loss of her youth to a man that simply stole it....imagine her putting her heart back together, just to be broken again.There are some holes from the missing pieces, but it helps her inner light shine through. Imagine that heart being torn from her chest and beaten down and cut with it’s own shards. She finds the pieces and gathers what little she has left. Imagine that this woman’s heart will only be stronger and fight harder for her. The fight has just begun, this woman’s heart with all it’s scars and holes will pump the poison thru her veins that will save her life. She told me they don’t tell you that you have cancer, they ask you this question, “Do you have someone here with you?” Yes, yes i do... she is with me...yes i know...yes i have breast cancer. She calls my husband. She holds me. A piece of her woman’s heart fits perfectly into mine. Always. I am diagnosed. I’m feeling guilty, scared and pissed off. I am numb, until they do the biopsy..ouch. I am scared, until my husband gets there. I cry. I do what needs to be done. I laugh. I work. I cry in the tub. I swear. I swear again. I pray. I am cut, I am sliced and I’m stitched. I wake up. I am happy that I woke up, now I can fight. I am alive, I go home. I let my husband play doctor. I can’t look. He sees me. I look at whats left. I see love in my husbands eyes. I heal. I am poisoned. I am tired. I am grateful. I am embarrassed that my hair doesn’t fall out. I am grateful my hair doesn’t fall out. My son brushes my hair...now i know why my hair doesn’t fall out. I am tired. I sleep. I love. I heal. I am radiated. I listen to music. I walk fast. I take my kids to the park. I am going to be a grandmother. I burn. I feel strong. I really burn. I see my red skin. I see my skin peel off. I keep walking fast. I heal. I am reconstructed. I am disappointed. I am getting stronger. I let my husband play doctor. I look at whats left. I see love in his eyes. I love. I heal. I am recovering. I get mad. I get sad. I get glad. I feel blessed. I cry. I love. I see love reflected. I love some more. I live. I feel. I heal."